Anyhow, what I have for you is two "short plays" in the style of "short plays" done by Vincent Baker. I find that writing small, satirical plays is a good way to deconstruct conversations - especially conversations that happen on the internet. So with no further ado:
A THING THAT HAPPENS ON THE INTERNETS: A SHORT PLAY IN THREE ACTS
ACT 1
GROUP Y: We are a statistically significant number of people who are highly articulate and intelligent, as well as linked by a common background and experience. We all agree that Thing X happens to us because we are a part of Group Y.
SOME OTHER PEOPLE: Thing X is entirely fictitious. I discount your intelligence and experience. I also ignore that a statistically significant number of people are sharing personal experiences to support Thing X.
GROUP Y: We are upset and feel unvalued!
ACT 2
GROUP Y: Thing X exists. Let us discuss Thing X to understand the underlying causes and implications.
SOME OTHER PEOPLE: I am interested in discussing this with you. Let us talk in a civil manner.
STILL OTHER PEOPLE: Anyone who thinks Thing X exists is dumb and/or evil!
GROUP Y: We are upset!
SOME OTHER PEOPLE: We question whether your aggressiveness contributes to this discussion.
STILL OTHER PEOPLE: People over-reacting in a way they would not be were this discussion not about Thing X. Clearly, talking about Thing X makes people crazy.
GROUP Y: Being called crazy because of Thing X pushes our Internet Crazy button! Get out of our thread!
STILL OTHER PEOPLE: This only proves my point. I am vindicated!
ACT 3, SCENE 1
A PERSON: I say Thing Q about Thing X.
GROUP Y: Saying Thing Q upsets me!
A PERSON: Upon reflection, Thing Q was not called for. I apologize.
GROUP Y: Let's move on and have a productive conversation.
ACT 3, SCENE 2
ANOTHER PERSON: I say Thing R about Thing X.
GROUP Y: Saying Thing Q upsets me!
ANOTHER PERSON: Whoa! Let me clarify. What I said was Thing R, not Thing Q.
GROUP Y: We apologize. Let's move on and have a productive conversation.
ACT 3, SCENE 3
A THIRD PERSON: I say Thing Q about Thing X! Unapologetically!
GROUP Y: Saying Thing Q upsets me!
A THIRD PERSON: Thing Q is righteous! Your disapproval makes me a martyr!
GROUP Y: We are upset and feel unvalued!
EVERYBODY ELSE: Alas, Internet Crazy has killed the conversation. Let us talk about something else.
THE END.
I wrote this back in 2007, and sadly I don't see it becoming obsolete any time soon. One of the biggest problems about trying to discuss anything controversial on the internet, be it racism, sexism, gender issues, or anything else that pushes people's Crazy Buttons, people never get to have a productive conversation because it always ends in flames and people walk away. As such, important conversations about discrimination in the hobby we love never happen.
Sometimes, however, I find myself prompted to try to educate myself further about subjects that border on controversial. When this happens I will spend half an hour crafting a question that is absolutely neutral and totally controversy proof. And then this happens:
WHY I F*CKING HATE THE INTERNET: A SHORT PLAY
Me: [A Specific Question about a very specific aspect of Controversial Subject that, none the less, attempts to avoid controversy]
A Small Number of People on The Internet: [Thoughtful and informative response to Specific Question]
Many More People on The Internet: [Controversy targetted! Commence strawman arguments and offended flailing!]
Me: [An attempt to clarify the original Specific Question]
Many More People on The Internet: [Philosophic questions about the broader nature of controversial subject totally not related to the initial Specific Question]
Me: [Polite refusal to engage in philosophic discussion of Controversial Subject for therein lies the path directly to Internet Crazy]
Many More People on The Internet: [Internet Crazy!]
A Small Number of People on The Internet: [We will send you whispers supporting you, but have given this conversation up as a lost cause. Turn back! For this way lies madness!]
Many More People on The Internet: [Personal attacks FTW!]
Me: [An attempt to take the high ground by refusing to participate further]
Many More People on the Internet: [Let us continue with personal attacks and strawmen now that the Specific Question has been completely destroyed]
Me & A Small Number of People on The Internet: [Note to self: quit asking controversial questions on The Internet]
Some days I find humanity tiresome.
